By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-06-19 22:25:19 | Updated at 2026-06-20 00:06:21
1 hour ago
CAMP SPRINGS, MD — At Joint Base Andrews on Friday, President Donald Trump unveiled the next Air Force One, a massive battle-ready airborne aircraft carrier, which he affectionately called a "Helicarrier."
The intimidating mobile command center was reportedly shipped over piece by piece from Qatar and painstakingly rebuilt in America. It is approximately six times the size of the previous Air Force One and capable of launching offensive strikes against the president's enemies at a moment's notice.
"Air Force One was state-of-the-art for its time, but still just a glorified passenger jet, believe me. But this baby can take out a small country like it's nothing," he said, snapping his fingers, "which I think we can all agree is something the president should have."
It even has a McDonald's.
Trump only took a few questions from the press, preferring to spend the majority of his time pointing out the cool air turbines that allow the hellicarrier to hover in place as it rains down missiles from above.
Kaitlan Collins of CNN asked, "Mr. President, even if this was a gift from Qatar and didn't cost the American taxpayers much, don't you think it's a bit overkill?"
Trump only laughed. "Now I can destroy all of my enemies, even you journalists," he said with a laugh as the crowd grew increasingly silent. "Quiet, piggy."
At publishing time, U.S. intelligence intercepted communication from Iran asking Qatar why on earth they would send Trump a Helicarrier.
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