Truth about the 'closeted conservative gay mafia running Washington': KENNEDY lists the real power players... and exposes a truly insidious plot

The Creature From The Crack Lagoon has emerged from the swamp yet again!

Hunter Biden is on a ghoulish publicity tour and this week's stop was on the podcast of emotionally disfigured progressive Jennifer Welch.

The market for Hunter's puerile paintings has dried up since his dad left office (surprise, surprise), so Cracky McGee is now peddling outrageous crackpot theories in yet another desperate grift.

In May, he floated the delusion that 'Israeli intelligence' was conspiring to bring down Daddy Dearest to none other than Candace Owens, who has never heard a conspiracy involving Jews that she hasn't wholly devoured.

Now, on Witchy Welch's broadcast, the former First Freak Show gabbed about how Washington really works, which is rich coming from a loser nepo-baby who's never really held down an actual job in his adult life. And in what appears to be Hunter's most bigoted turn yet… he's targeting gays.

Forget Pizzagate and the Pentaverate, the real power brokers in DC – according to this (former) porn addicted, sex-crazed drug addict – are secret, swishy conservatives, so consumed by their well-appointed closets that they revel in torturing the American public from their big gay power perches.

'There is like this closeted gay mafia, largely Republican, that exists in Washington DC and everybody knows every single one of them who, who's gay,' Hunter opined.

He describes these evil, right-leaning Village People as having hearts darker than the inside of his pipes, saying, 'Their whole lives they've been closeted. And so, you have this like, black ball inside yourself, this like black blackened heart by the fact that you can't be who you want to be. And so, you take it out on everybody else.'

So, to homophobe Hunter and the Lefty fans being gay is awful and if you don't openly share the details of your personal sex life with the public it's somehow a moral failing?

It says more about Biden than anyone else that he's so titillated by the idea of an occult DC bathhouse filled with angry, queer Reaganites plotting against humanity. And these two barf bags couldn't help themselves but tap dance on the fresh grave of Republican Senator Lindsey Graham.

Biden: Everybody knows who they are. Everybody.

Welch: Yeah.

Biden: Yeah.

Welch: Lindsey Graham?

Biden: Yeah. Of course.

'Yeah. Of course', you degenerate? Why is Graham's private life any of your business?

While we're at it, let's talk about how your half-sister Ashley Biden, 45, wrote in her diary in 2019 about showering with your father at an inappropriate age. 'I can't remember specifics but I do remember trauma… I remember somewhat being sexualized with [her first cousin] Caroline; I remember having sex with friends @ a young age; showers w/ my dad (probably not appropriate); being turned on when I wasn't suppose [sic] to be,' she wrote.

Psychoanalyze that one, Hunter.

I'm in no mood for ethics lessons from a rotten swindler and admitted tax cheat, who banged his dead brother's grieving widow (while encouraging her to develop her own crack addiction). And it's not just that… he's absolutely, 100 percent wrong, obviously.

The current Republican administration has the most senior, openly gay cabinet members in history. So much so that the New York Times wrote an article titled, Donald Trump's Big Gay Government - On the town with the A-Gays of Washington, who have never been happier to be out, proud and Republican.

Shall we list the well-groomed power brokers? In addition to Treasury secretary Bessent, there's Department of Energy executive Charles Moran, presidential pollster Tony Fabrizio; former acting Director of National Intelligence Richard Grennell and under Secretary of State Jacob Hellberg, the list is longer than Hunter's… er, autopen pardon.

It's no surprise this lifelong grifter and festering wound of a podcast host are spouting this thinly veiled, homophobic nonsense. It's all they have. Nothing thoughtful, nothing useful, just hunks of 'engagement' tossed into ring in the hopes that this rancid garbage gets tongues wagging for another day.

Joe must be proud.

Pageant dude 

Speaking of pretty male faces, Democratic Georgia Senator Jon Ossoff is looking for that special sparkle.

The rumored White House hopeful has spent a whopping $2887.33 on services from elite Hollywood makeup artists, according to his latest campaign finance filings.

What's he doing with all that face paint, starring in Drag Queen story hour? He must be running for the Democratic nomination!

Naughty newser

Former CNN chatter Brooke Baldwin took to her Substack to brag that she's a beast in bed, writing she's 'pretty damn good at it.'

Apparently, Baddie Brooke had to turn down four different guys who wanted to see if she could back up her bedroom bravado. She decided to hold out because, she says, a bunch of one-night stands would 'scatter' her energy, describing it a 'leaky.'

Girl, 'leaky'? That sounds like a conversation between you and your doctor.

Soggy shorts 

Romeo Beckham is proving his dad Sir David isn't the only ball hog in the family.

The 23-year-old recently decided to go jet skiing in Ibiza in his tighty whiteys, which became see -through and showed the world the family jewels. The professional model and actor also had cupping marks on his back – presumably from a spa treatment.

Hey Romeo, next time, swipe the cup and stick in your shorts.

Awful view 

The ladies of The View are reportedly fuming because their wardrobe budgets have clipped.

They're no longer being given generous clothing allowances, but God help us all if ABC downsizes their actual outfits and send them out in teeny bikinis, or worse: Romeo's see- through underwear!

Sweet and Slurry 

Congresswoman Lauren Boebert could only talk out one side of her mouth the other day, blaming it on a botched Botox treatment.

It was quite a shock, because we're so used to politicians talking out both sides of their mouths.

Slam Dunk 

WNBA star, and Caitlin Clark bodyguard, Sophie Cunningham has enraged her woke league by doubling down on supporting women by keeping biological males out of female sports and locker rooms.

'We're all human, I really don't care what other people have to say. I said what I said, I think it's common sense and I think I will always believe in that. I stand on what I said,' she said.

Sophie fights so much on Caitlin's behalf, the last thing she wants is a shoving match with some dude.

Hot and Hairy 

In the eternal search for manliness, some guys are resorting to beard transplants to look more like hot lumberjacks and less like Harry Styles.

Facial hair is definitely the new style, but according to Hunter Biden every guy in DC already has a beard!