Wallis Simpson's infamous sex move nearly brought down the monarchy. I know the bewitching powers of the Shanghai Technique: JANA HOCKING

There is a sordid tale about Wallis Simpson that involves a certain sexual technique she supposedly learned during her time in Shanghai that is so fabulously outrageous, I genuinely want to believe it.

Wallis, of course, was the American divorcée at the center of one of the biggest scandals the British monarchy has ever seen.

She was still married to her second husband, Ernest Simpson, when, in January 1934, she began an affair with Edward, then Prince of Wales. By the time he became King Edward VIII two years later, he was hopelessly besotted and determined to make her his wife.

Given a choice between the Crown and Wallis we all know which way he jumped – jettisoning the throne after 325 days and declaring that he could not carry out his duties without 'the help and support of the woman I love.'

So far so romantic. But word around London society was that Edward's devotion had less to do with affairs of the heart and a whole lot more to do with what happened once the royal pajamas came off.

Socialite Lady Diana Cooper, once observed that the future King was 'never out of a woman's legs,' but enthusiasm did not necessarily translate to talent, as is sadly all too often the case. Apparently, Edward suffered from what sounds suspiciously like premature ejaculation. Or, to put it more politely, the performance was often over before the woman had settled into her seat.

Wallis was said to be the only woman who could truly satisfy and, ahem, sustain him. Whatever she was doing, she conquered a problem countless others had failed to solve and left him so sexually besotted that even the Crown couldn't compete.

Which brings us to her secret.

According to the whispers tearing through London society at the time, the answer was a rather impressive education of the sexual kind acquired during her year in China.

It was known as the Shanghai technique or grip, and it is fairly simple if you've been working on your Kegel exercises.

Some believe this technique involves a woman's pelvic floor muscles taking hold in such a way that they had the ability to make 'a matchstick feel like a cigar.'

Think: Contract. Hold. Relax. Rest. Repeat. Or to put it more bluntly: Clench.

However, one of Wallis's friends, Lady Gladwyn, wife of the UK ambassador to France, later dismissed all the exotic Shanghai gossip as nonsense and reportedly told author Hugo Vickers: her mysterious talent was 'simply oral sex... nothing Chinese about it.'

Simply oral sex?

Please. There is nothing simple about an act Sex and the City's Samantha Jones once observed is 'called a job for a reason.'

Now, I don't mean to toot my own horn (toot toot), but I once learned a technique I call the 'Marry Me Sex Move,' and I can confirm that it lives rent-free in men's heads for years. An ex got back in touch only recently to tell me he still couldn't stop thinking about 'that thing' I used to do.

I don't mean to be crude, but it involved being on my knees and maintaining plenty of eye contact. It's the doe eyes, ladies. Works a treat on those big, silly egos. He feels like a god while you remain completely aware of who is really controlling the situation.

I've also got plenty of friends whose talents have inspired airport pick-ups at ungodly hours, extravagant presents and promises of exotic holidays made in the heat of the moment. Never underestimate what knowing the right sound or move can achieve.

One friend tells me, if she wants to speed things up in the bedroom, she starts whispering the filthiest things she can think of in his ear and he's racing to the finishing lines in seconds. She laughs it's the only time he jumps out of bed and fetches her an ice-cold glass of water as a way of saying thank you.

Admittedly, no friend of mine has inspired a man to abdicate the throne, but perhaps we're just not applying ourselves properly.

After all, history is littered with powerful men doing wildly irrational things while under the spell of a woman they cannot get enough of.

Henry VIII tore England away from the Catholic Church while pursuing Anne Boleyn. Mark Antony risked his position in Rome for Cleopatra and ended up losing everything. Several centuries later, Bill Clinton almost detonated his presidency over sexual encounters with a 22-year-old White House intern.

The women are always credited with some irresistible power. Anne bewitched Henry. Cleopatra seduced Antony. Monica tempted Bill.

Apparently, it is much easier to believe a woman possesses dark sexual magic than accept that an otherwise intelligent man can become completely deranged when he's having the best sex of his life.

Whatever Wallis supposedly learned in that Shanghai brothel, sign me up for lessons, because just how good does oral sex need to be before a man starts reconsidering his life decisions?

In this current age, it's tough enough to get a text back in a timely manner, so dare I say it, should we all be upping our seduction skills?

Social media would certainly have us believe so. There are thousands of accounts teaching women the so-called 'dark arts' of keeping a man interested. One of the most popular is the Black Cat theory.

This states that every successful relationship requires the woman to be the black cat and the man to be her golden retriever.

The golden retriever is affectionate, eager to please and follows her around with his tongue practically hanging out. Meanwhile, the black cat remains mysterious and fiercely independent. She accepts his attention when she feels like it, then casually wanders off to enjoy her own life.

Which got me thinking, was Wallis Simpson the original black cat?

Edward had spent his entire life surrounded by people blowing smoke up his butt and telling him precisely what he wanted to hear. Wallis treated him with an irreverence almost no one else dared. By all accounts, she teased him and bossed him around.

Naturally, he became obsessed.

By the end of 1934, Edward was described by his official biographer as 'slavishly dependent' on her. He showered her with expensive jewelry and ultimately sacrificed the most important position in Britain to keep her.

Wallis may have possessed some spectacular bedroom skills, but I suspect her real power came from making a man who had been given everything feel as though he still had something to earn.

Bravo, Wallis.