What happened when a professional declutterer tackled my messy house

Few things have caused as much excitement among my friends as the announcement that I’m spending the day with a professional declutterer. At school drop-off, when I tell the other mums that I'm heading home to revamp the deepest, darkest corners of my home with expert help, they are brimming with envy. ‘That is my dream’ says one, ‘I keep jamming stuff into the cupboards because I can never find time to sort it out’.

Many of us will relate. While my home might look tidy on the surface, if you open a drawer or cupboard you’ll be faced with a disordered sea of stuff, and as for the utility room – well, it’s become less a functional space for household chores, and more a dumping ground.

It’s not that I don’t want to keep things nice and tidy, it’s just that I never seem to have the time or headspace to have a clear-out. Instead, I’m left with a cluttered home that drives me mad. It is such a hassle; I can't open the washing machine door properly because the vacuum cleaner’s poking out in front of it, and often I spend the final five minutes before leaving the house scrabbling through a handbag mountain unable to find my work pass.

I need help, and Vicky Silverthorn of You Need A Vicky is my woman. Long before home organisation became Instagram catnip, she was one of the original decluttering gurus, and has been offering her professional services to harried homekeepers for 13 years. Along with her lovely colleague Sophia, she set to work on some of the most chaotic areas of my home, and let me tell you – the results were satisfying. Here's how to bring harmony to your house...

Step 1: Get everything out

It’s hard to declutter without knowing exactly what you have to begin with, so the first step of overhauling the utility room is to get everything out and lay it on the floor. As we do this, Sophia groups items into categories (kitchen appliances, partyware, laundry and so on) while I bob around exclaiming excitedly about long-lost possessions that suddenly resurface (‘I’ve been looking for that Sellotape for months!’).

Step 2: Commence the declutter

Once everything is laid out and categorised, it's time for the declutter. Unlike those TV shows where participants are told they must get rid of half their possessions, Vicky and Sophia take a gentler approach, which is encouraging, rather than dictatorial. I do however realise that there are plenty of things I’m keeping hold of that I either don’t need (offcuts of fabric, mouse traps, light bulbs that only worked in my previous property) or are more hassle than they’re worth to keep (case in point: a box of laundry bleach that’s disintegrated on one side and keeps spilling everywhere).

I have about a thousand bags for life – don’t we all? – and since I’m not particularly attached to any, it’s pretty easy to whittle them down to a more manageable number. I’ve also been keeping lots of my kitchen appliances in their boxes, such as the sandwich toaster and hot chocolate velvetiser – taking them out and getting rid of the boxes gets rid of about 70% of the bulk and means I’m more likely to pick them up and use them. I’ve also been keeping hold of handfuls of instruction manuals. ‘How often do you look at these?’ asks Sophia. The answer, of course, is never – if I have a problem or question, I just Google it. Into the recycling bin they go.

I will say, the decluttering stage was much harder later, when it came to going through my wardrobe. I just love all my clothes! But I had a stern word with myself about several items – shoes that look lovely but are too uncomfortable to wear, for example, or bags that I seem to have bought for some imaginary life where I’m not carting around kids’ snacks, reusable coffee cups and an umbrella all the time.

Step 3: Put things back in an organised fashion

I was surprised to find that the most useful bit of the whole process for me was actually when we put things away. Having an expert pair of eyes examine my space and tell me the most logical place to put everything was revelatory. In the utility room, for example, we moved the kitchen appliances onto the most accessible counter space, because I explained that lugging an enormous Magimix out from the back of cupboard was a regular headache. Into the cupboards went the unsightly array of food that doesn’t fit into my small kitchen (this overspill always happens when my husband goes mad in Aldi). 

Laundry and cleaning products went onto lower shelves, while more occasional items, like a box of bike-fixing gear, took up the less easy-to-reach spots. There were also a few bits that we moved to different parts of the house altogether – paint tins to the shed, a handheld vacuum cleaner to the car, shopping bags to under the buggy and so on. It made me realise that a lot of the possessions I own I don’t use, simply because they are not to hand in the most logical place when I need them.

Clothes and accessories can be particularly tricky to store in an organised fashion, especially if you have a lot of them. Vicky advises that I get a handyman to install some extra shelves into my cupboards, allowing for better shoe storage, while the length of trousers can be halved by using these clever hangers (meaning you can fit more shelves in underneath). Adding to basket pronto.

One last useful bit of kit for organising your home: a label maker. Sophia labels the various crates and boxes in the utility room so I know where things actually are, instead of having to pull down every last one while swearing in order to find things. Although Vicky is very against buying more products in order to declutter your home, I feel like this could be a worthwhile investment if you’re planning to do a major sort-out.

Step 4: Deal with all the things you’re getting rid of

I’ll confess, sometimes I’ve shoved stuff back into cupboards simply because I don’t know how to get rid of it. While secondhand clothing can obviously be donated to the charity shop, and bags and boxes recycled, there are a few things – used baby bottles for example – that are more mysterious. Vicky and Sophia suggest looking at whether local charities will accept such items, and they’re right – I discover a nearby baby bank that will take the bottles, and a women’s shelter that will accept lightly-used cosmetics. Hospitals and care homes are a good bet for secondhand books (although check first), and I discover public recycling bins for textiles and small electricals nearby, which is great for stuff that can’t be donated to a charity shop.

Step 5: Enjoy your new space

Seriously, I cannot express how life-changing it feels to have a more orderly space – and that’s just with my utility room and two cupboards cleared out. Now I’ve removed some of the chaos from my home, it’s made me realise just how much dealing with that daily clutter was stressing me out. 

I’m also determined not to let the mess creep in again, and feel inspired to tackle other areas of my home. Now I’ve seen what’s achievable in one day, the idea of decluttering smaller areas by myself feels far less daunting. ‘Start with your sock drawer’ is the name of Vicky’s book, and I think that really is the best approach: start small and once you feel the benefits of a good clear-out, you’ll be motivated to do the whole house.

Now, can someone just tell my kids they are not allowed to create any mess, ever again?