By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-06-17 16:00:19 | Updated at 2026-06-17 21:00:03
5 hours ago
WORLD — Citizens across the globe breathed a collective sigh of relief after learning that the government of Iran has promised to be good from here on out as part of the peace deal negotiated by President Donald Trump.
The announcement came as final details of the deal were released to Congress this week, including a provisional agreement by Iranian heads of state to be cool and stop killing people.
"We have seen the error of our ways and will be super nice from now on," said IRGC commander Amir Arzhang. "You can absolutely trust us with hundreds of billions of dollars. We have completely lost interest in obtaining a nuclear bomb. That's a promise you can count on, just like we promise to stop killing protesters."
"This is a win for the entire globe," Vice President JD Vance told members of the Press. "Iran has been bad for so long. But due to President Trump's shrewd negotiating tactics, he was able to get the leaders of Iran to agree to be good and not be bad anymore. Really, a giant win for everyone."
The global population exhaled a collective sigh of relief upon learning of the condition of the peace deal, and many say they believe this will solve everything once and for all.
"I'm so glad Iran has agreed to be good now," German citizen Marga Von Dutch said. "We can all rest easy at long last. Thank you, President Trump!"
At publishing time, the world had thanked its lucky stars as Russia had also North Korea had also agreed to play nice in exchange for a hundred billion dollars.
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