By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2024-12-18 16:05:20 | Updated at 2024-12-18 19:00:21
2 hours ago
HOUSTON, TX — Reports from the worship team at Rushing Wind Church indicate that head worship leader Matt Brines was up late last night trying to decide which beautiful Christmas hymn to butcher during the Christmas service this year.
Every year, the worship leader hunts for an absolutely beloved Christmas song that he can arrange in a contemporary style and "maybe add a chorus to," totally destroying the majesty of the musical work of art.
While previous years saw Brines completely ruin classics like "Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus," "Of The Father's Love Begotten," and "Savior Of The Nations, Come," sources say that he's really trying to outdo himself this year.
"Come on, Matt, think," the worship leader reportedly muttered to himself as he strummed a D chord on his guitar. "'Away In A Manger?' Too popular. We need a really good one to wreck this year. Ummm... 'O Come, O Come Emmanuel?' I'm not sure I can play that B-minor chord. Ugh."
Brines allegedly pulled an all-nighter looking for the perfect theologically rich hymn to totally ruin with his contemporary musical arrangements. After much debate, prayer, and thought, sources say he finally landed on "See, Amid The Winter's Snow."
At publishing time, Brines had been seen excitedly adding in three sick guitar solos, a snazzy saxophone part, and a cowbell.
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