"Greatest President Ever" [semi-satire]

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Posted on 01/18/2025 1:15:25 AM PST by John Semmens

As President Biden prepares to vacate the White House accolades are pouring in for his performance. Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC) asserted "he will go down as the greatest president we ever had. You know, I was the one who secured the Democratic nomination for him in 2020. That was one of the greatest accomplishments of my career. I think President Biden himself would admit he isn't a great orator, but he sure was a great doer of things while in office."

"He did the big things that Trump would never have done," the Congressman pointed out. "He saved the nation from covid by mandating masks and vaccinations. Despite claims that it violated freedom of speech, he didn't hesitate to get the FBI to pressure the media into censoring misinformation that would've deterred millions from getting the jabs, as they were commonly called during the pandemic."

"He rescued millions from third world poverty by inviting people from all over the world to come to America," Clyburn continued. "He offered them free transportation to anyplace they wanted to go in our great country, guaranteed their rights to free healthcare, free housing, free food, and free education for their children. He even commuted the sentences for many of these immigrants who were convicted of crimes against American citizens. Heck, he is so kind and merciful that he even spared admitted murderer and MS-13 gang member Jairo Saenz from the death penalty. Trump would never have done any of this if he had been reelected in 2020."

"Finally, he ended the war in Afghanistan at a cost of the lives of only 13 US troops," he concluded. "He would have also saved democracy from the coming Trump tyranny if others hadn't forced him off the Democratic ticket in the 2024 election. I disagree with the 54% of voters who believe President Biden will be remembered as a below average president. I think he will be seen as one of the most gifted heroes that we've ever had in public office. His five decades as a senator, vice-president, and president will be universally lauded by future generations."

CNN's Fareed Zakaria commended Clyburn's observations, but chided him for "forgetting to include the resounding success of Bidenomics in reviving the country from the devastation the policies of Trump inflicted during his first term. Biden's investment in the green economy created whole new industries that might otherwise never have existed without the vital subsidies his administration provided. Sadly, these industries will now be allowed to go bankrupt because the incoming Trump administration won't be willing to continue those subsidies. Historians will regard this u-turn as a tragic error and rue voters' rejection of Biden's second term."

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1 posted on 01/18/2025 1:15:25 AM PST by John Semmens

To: 1of10; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

2 posted on 01/18/2025 1:17:20 AM PST by John Semmens

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