Zelensky Campaigns for Harris/Walz [semi-satire]

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Posted on 09/28/2024 3:30:10 AM PDT by John Semmens

This week, as the election campaign enters its last five weeks, Ukraine President Vladimir Zelensky jetted into Pennsylvania aboard a US Air Force C-17 to help the Harris/Walz ticket win votes. "I am told that winning this state is a must for the Democrats," Zelensky said. "I am told that I will be visiting a munitions factory where I will autograph some bombs and try to firm up the pro-war vote. Trump is promising to end my country's war with Russia by 'making a deal.' The great American General MacArthur said 'there's no substitute for victory.' I hope to refresh the American voters' memory of this noble sentiment so we can assure that the money and weapons flow can continue until victory is attained."

James Comer (R-Ky), Chair of the House Oversight Committee, challenged "the propriety of flying Zelensky at taxpayer expense to campaign for the Democrats. I also question the wisdom of continuing to escalate this war. Just this week Putin has said he reserves the right to use nuclear weapons if Ukraine launches long-range missiles into Russia. Yet, long-range missiles are what Zelensky is demanding. I don't think continuing this war is something that the American people want. It is too dangerous."

"Whether this war should be continued to a victorious conclusion is something that voters will decide," Vice-President Harris asserted. "Since President Zelensky is the person most knowledgeable about this war I think it is important that voters have the opportunity to hear from him before they cast their ballots. Squabbling over the use of an Air Force plane to provide him with convenient and secure transportation is petty. We've already invested $56 billion 'at taxpayer expense' to support this war. Holistically, spending a few more dollars on his transportation is insignificant. Besides, being hospitable is one of the building blocks for harmonious foreign relations."

In related news, General Alexander Sollfrank, head of NATO's logistics command, confirmed that "NATO is on the brink of implementing operation 'Steadfast Defender 2024.' This includes approval for long-range missile strikes deep into Russian territory, the mobilization of 90,000 troops from 30 nations, and the mass evacuation strategies needed to cope with a possible nuclear war with Russia."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/368905-2024-09-28-semi-news-semi-satire-september-29-2024-edition.htm

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1 posted on 09/28/2024 3:30:10 AM PDT by John Semmens

To: 1of10; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

2 posted on 09/28/2024 3:32:09 AM PDT by John Semmens

To: John Semmens

3 posted on 09/28/2024 4:46:47 AM PDT by piytar (Remember Ashli Babbitt and Rosanne Boyland!)

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