By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-10-05 18:55:19 | Updated at 2026-10-05 19:33:44
38 minutes ago
SAN ANTONIO, TX — A group of archaeologists at the University of Texas in San Antonio excitedly announced the discovery of a massive skeleton that could provide evidence for the existence of the Nephilim. Sadly, however, the bones were ultimately discovered to belong to a giant Halloween yard skeleton owned by a local family.
The archaeology team, led by Professor Marc Thompson, initially began testing the enormous skull. Three-dimensional renderings based on the nearly two-foot-tall skull prompted excitement that the full skeleton could surpass fifteen feet in height and may point to a half-angel, half-man creature.
"We felt sure that this discovery was in some way otherworldly," said Thompson. "Once we assembled the bones, we had an absolutely towering figure, well beyond the realm of physical possibility for humankind. Our minds raced with the remarkable possibilities. That's when we got the call that the testing had come back and the bone sample showed it was entirely plastic. Also, we got the call that the Garcia family, who live where we found the bones, was missing their giant Halloween yard skeleton."
The Nephilim have long fascinated archaeologists, as Old Testament descriptions of these gargantuan warriors have prompted many searches. With the return of the Garcia's yard skeleton, the search will continue.
At publishing time, the research team had reassembled the skeleton in the Garcia family's yard, with some Halloween candy softening the blow of not finding a real Nephilim.
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