By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-10-05 20:20:18 | Updated at 2026-10-05 20:50:03
29 minutes ago
WOODSTOCK, ME — Shouts of "BOOOO!" could be heard coming from a cabin in the woods as a man later identified as podcast host Tucker Carlson became increasingly frustrated while watching Indiana Jones defeat the Nazis, neighbors said.
Following a failed debate against Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg, Carlson chose to unwind with a viewing of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, a film he remembered enjoying as a 20-year-old. But that was then. Now, his eyes having been opened to the plight of Nazis, he found himself thinking of how much better off the world would have been if the Nazis had been able to prevail.
"They both want the same thing! They both want the grail!" Carlson said, laughing uncontrollably. "They should be working together!"
Early on, the film was just as fun as he had remembered, with the adventurous archaeologist pursuing and ultimately obtaining the Cross of Coronado. "He's so intrepid," Carlson said. "Get 'em, Indy!"
But things changed when Indy began killing innocent Nazis while on a quest for glory.
"Oh, now he's engaging in wanton violence? Against the noble German military? Booo!" Carlson said. "He's committing actual war crimes. Shame on him. He's clearly a tool of the Jews."
Shortly before the film's climax, Carlson became enraged as Jones fought off a large Nazi assault, successfully battling multiple German soldiers atop a moving tank.
"BOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOO!" Carlson said as he gestured wildly at the TV. "How dare he stand in the way of German victory?"
At publishing time, Carlson had reportedly given Schindler's List a 1-star rating.
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