By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-04-02 20:30:24 | Updated at 2025-04-03 16:31:27
20 hours ago
U.S. — In a surprising turn of events, Senator Cory Booker's 25-hour filibuster record that was just set on Tuesday was broken by your wife.
Booker made headlines across the country by speaking uninterrupted for over an entire calendar day without taking any breaks to eat or use the bathroom but saw his record fall less than a day later when your wife set a new mark by continuing to speak incessantly overnight and well into today.
"It was foolish for Senator Booker to expect his record to stand against your wife," said political expert Charles Thurman. "While he may be a professional politician with years of knowledge, that pales in comparison to the fact that your wife is a woman with extensive experience in being a wife. All things considered, it's surprising that Booker was able to hold the record for any length of time at all."
When notified of her historic achievement, your wife seemed unaware that anything notable had happened. "I was just doing what I always do," she said. "I had to tell my husband about the text that my sister sent me this morning and how it made me feel and this Instagram reel I saw that had this amazing couch in the background that I totally love and ask him what I should make for dinner tonight and remind him that we're having the Millers over for dinner this weekend and find out when he's going to mow the grass and tell him about the episode of Real Housewives that I watched last night. I had no idea I broke any record. I just do this all the time. Do I talk that much?"
At publishing time, the nation prepared for the worst after Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez floated the idea of challenging your wife's filibuster record.
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