By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-04-01 18:30:18 | Updated at 2025-04-02 20:51:14
1 day ago
LONDON — Authorities reported the successful arrest of a 38-year-old man who was caught silently praying for the well-being of the person who was stabbing him. He is currently being held awaiting trial.
William Henry Brown was reportedly on holiday from Bristol when he was suddenly jumped by an Islamic migrant assailant with a stabbing knife. But instead of calling the police, he defensively held up his hands while saying a silent prayer for the man who was stabbing him to death.
Though allegedly a silent prayer, witnesses claim Brown was clearly moving his lips. Authorities examined CCTV footage with the aid of a professional lip reader to determine that Brown was indeed praying.
"Such public displays of the Christian faith are inherently hostile to our new guests from Pakistan," Constable Charles Moore said as he slapped handcuffs on the bleeding man. "You people disgust me."
A transcript of the silent prayer has not yet been made public.
"This will not stand in our city," said London Mayor Sadiq Khan. "Prayer is violent hate speech! That is, unless it's being blared from a loudspeaker 5 times per day."
According to sources, legal counsel has advised Brown to plead guilty in exchange for a lighter sentence.
At publishing time, William Henry Brown had been sealed in the Tower of London.
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