By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-09-16 20:55:15 | Updated at 2026-09-16 21:24:41
30 minutes ago
HEAVEN — In an unbelievable turn of events, a man on his deathbed professed belief in Jesus Christ and secured his Heavenly reward with just 0.4 seconds left on his life clock.
After being hit by a bus and rushed to a local hospital, 76-year-old Trevor Hanson knew he wasn't long for this world. In his final moments, he came to faith in Jesus right at the proverbial buzzer with his last breath.
"Whoooaaaa! The mad lad actually pulled it off!" one angel said. "Incredible!"
Another added, "Amazing! That guy just won me 500 heaven bucks! What a finish!"
According to Heavenly sources, saints and angels eagerly welcomed Hanson to Heaven, not feeling cheated at all by the fact that he lived a life of sin and was redeemed at the last minute.
"None of us deserve to be here, Trevor," said Abraham Lincoln. "We're just glad you made it."
According to Satan, Hanson was "this close" to a life of eternal torment. "I just can't believe he played the Jesus card right at the buzzer. So disappointing," he said. "We got robbed!"
At publishing time, Hanson's family was so startled by his sudden conversion that they began to study the Bible in earnest and announced they would soon be attending church.
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