By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-09-08 20:40:13 | Updated at 2026-09-08 21:36:36
57 minutes ago
SEDONA, AZ — Local five-year-old Marcus Townsend unfortunately crossed the dreaded Rubicon of knowing whether he was actually playing a video game or if his parents were just pretending.
Townsend became steadily more suspicious while spinning the steering wheel on Cruisin' USA, the sinking feeling of being duped growing stronger.
"I've been had!" declared Townsend, realizing the awful truth. "I'm not really playing this game at all! There's no observable on-screen response whatsoever, no matter how madly I spin this steering wheel. They deceived me, my parents. Wanting to get out of paying a dollar for the real thing, they have foisted this chicanery upon me. What do they take me for? The outrage! The trust in our relationship has been broken, and I do not know how it can heal."
Townsend's parents realized the sudden development with great sadness. "Aw, man. That blessed ignorance saved us so much money," said Townsend's father, Brian. "Oh, well. All good things must come to an end."
At publishing time, Townsend had again been disillusioned by the awful realization that his father could not really remove the thumb from his hand and then put it back again.
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