By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-08-10 18:20:24 | Updated at 2026-08-10 19:26:55
1 hour ago
TERRE HAUTE, IN — In a wholesome display of innocence, a five-year-old white girl reportedly told her parents how she dreamed of one day growing up to get beaten up in the WNBA.
Young Lucy Willow's parents said watching the WNBA had a significant impact on her, with her now dreaming of joining the WNBA someday so she can be pummeled unfairly like her heroes Caitlin Clark and Sophie Cunningham.
"Oh, it's so cute," said Hannah Willow, Lucy's mother. "She pointed at the TV when Caitlin Clark was getting choked out on live television and said, 'Someday, that's going to be me!'"
But Lucy, like any kid with dreams of stardom, was reminded of the hard road ahead of her. "I told her she's got to practice hard if she wants to get beaten up professionally one day," her father, James, said. "Clark and Cunningham didn't just get flagrantly fouled and assaulted overnight. It took a lot of hard work to get where they are today."
To support Lucy and others like her, Benjamin Franklin Elementary School introduced an after-school program to teach kids how to get beat up like their favorite athletes in the WNBA, FIFA, and even WWE. Interest was reportedly very high among students, and the school year hadn't even started yet.
"Everywhere young girls look, especially young white girls, they see their heroes being roughed up and accosted," said Principal Henrietta Stephens. "We want to show them it's possible, with just a little discipline, that they can grow up to be unfairly targeted by other players, too."
At publishing time, WNBA star Sophie Cunningham had visited Hannah Willow to encourage her to stay strong and keep chasing those dreams of getting beaten up.
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