By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-09-30 19:00:22 | Updated at 2026-09-30 20:05:46
1 hour ago
ATLANTA, GA — Delta executives announced this week that they would be removing all electrical systems from their airplanes after learning Elon Musk's Tesla cars also run on electricity.
"We will not be associated with anything related to Elon Musk, and if that includes electricity, so be it," said Delta spokesperson Ethan Murkowski. "Delta is committed to a bright and equitable future for all our employees and customers. For that reason, we will be removing all electrical wiring from our planes so we do not align ourselves with people like Musk whose values we don't want to represent."
The news came on the heels of Delta executives announcing that they would be refusing to put Starlink on their aircraft in protest of Elon Musk's politics. In lieu of Starlink, Delta has instead opted to eliminate Wi-Fi from all flights and ban cell phones and books, as Elon Musk reportedly uses those as well.
"This might make air travel a little more cumbersome for our customers, but we know they'll understand," Murkowski said. "Without electricity, we might not be able to turn our instrument panels on, but that's okay because we're also getting rid of instrument panels. Did you know Teslas also have instruments? Scary stuff."
At publishing time, Delta Air Lines had once again stuck it to Elon Musk by eliminating all engines after learning that Elon Musk also manufactures engines.
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