By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-03-06 20:10:18 | Updated at 2025-03-06 23:17:42
3 hours ago
LONG ISLAND, NY — Local husband Gary Anderson has proven what a terrible husband he is by not even knowing that when his wife asks him to do something "whenever you get a chance," what she really means is "do it right now."
Eyewitnesses say that the fight started after Mrs. Anderson asked her husband to load up 3 boxes full of old DVDs and toys into the car so that he could donate them at the local thrift store "whenever he got a chance".
"Sure thing, I'll do that as soon as I get a chance," said Gary, who idiotically took his wife's words literally like a complete moron.
Knowing that Gary probably heard "whenever you get a chance" and thought that she meant "whenever you get a chance," Mrs. Anderson folded her arms and paused for a moment to emphasize that she really meant "right this second." Unfortunately, Gary, being a major jerk, was unable to read his wife's clear nonverbal communication.
According to neighbors, Gary found out later that evening what exactly his wife had meant by "whenever you get a chance" when she walked by the 3 unmoved boxes and sighed loudly.
"If she wanted me to do it right that second, why didn't she ask me to stop what I was doing and do it right that second?" asked the terrible husband to the assembled reporters outside his house.
At publishing time, Mrs. Anderson had downplayed the conflict, saying she was "fine."
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