By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-03-06 22:00:16 | Updated at 2025-03-07 00:58:20
2 hours ago
FRANKFURT — According to sources, a German man who was jailed by authorities for sharing a meme is expressing hope that the European Union will stop the spread of Russian tyranny.
Adelbert Schneider, who has been held in solitary confinement for posting an insensitive meme depicting the Prophet Muhammed dressed as SpongeBob SquarePants in 2019, relayed to a reporter he hoped that Germany and its allies in the EU would stop Putin's aggression before Russia had a chance to take away the freedoms of German citizens.
"It's Europe's only hope for pretend freedom," Schneider said through the narrow slot of his prison cell door. "If Vladimir Putin and his evil Russian regime are allowed to run roughshod across our countries, Europeans will be doomed to a life without liberty. They might even be silenced and locked away for expressing their opinions. It would be horrible."
German officials urged all citizens to unite against the Russian threat and also refrain from expressing any dissenting views. "We must stand up to Putin and all other forms of despotism," one high-ranking leader said under the condition of anonymity. "And if anyone here disagrees with that, we will see to it that they suffer dire consequences."
At publishing time, German leaders had warned that the ongoing expansion of Russian power could potentially endanger the lives of millions of radical Islamists living in the country.
Under a new presidential order, posting in support of Ukraine will automatically draft you into the military.
