Girl Fireman Rushes Into Burning Building To Tell Victim He's Too Heavy But The Real Firemen Will Be Here In 15 Minutes

By Free Republic | Created at 2025-01-10 20:02:41 | Updated at 2025-01-10 23:05:37 3 hours ago

Girl Fireman Rushes Into Burning Building To Tell Victim He's Too Heavy But The Real Firemen Will Be Here In 15 Minutes
Babylon Bee ^ | 01/10/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/10/2025 11:55:33 AM PST by DFG

LOS ANGELES, CA — Girl firefighter Melissa Sandros risked life and limb yesterday as she entered a burning building to tell a victim that he was too heavy for her to carry, but that the real firemen would be there in about fifteen minutes or so.

According to witnesses, Sandros was part of an early response team that arrived at a burning office building. Upon arrival, she reportedly rushed into the building in an effort to rescue a 215-lb man who had become disoriented because of the smoke.

"Don't worry! I'm here to stand next to you until someone who can help you gets here," Santos was heard shouting to the suffering man. "The real firefighters will be here soon. I can't carry you out of here. I'm a girl. Isn't that awesome?"

While the 95-lb Sandros was unable to lift the man, she nonetheless stayed behind to inform him that the real firefighters would be there soon before clearing out of the building.

"Ms. Sandros displayed courage of the highest caliber in going above and beyond her duty as a girl fireman," said Los Angeles Fire Chief Kristin Crawley in a statement to the press. "We laud her for her outstanding commitment to public safety by presenting such a great example of being a girl fireman in a world full of boy firemen. Great job, Melissa — slay, queen!"

At publishing time, Sandros continued representing the very best girl firemen had to offer by arriving at the site of the Runyon Canyon wildfire to distribute sandwiches to the real firemen.

TOPICS: Humor
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1 posted on 01/10/2025 11:55:33 AM PST by DFG

To: DFG

The Bee hit it right on the nose. DEI needs to D-I-E.

2 posted on 01/10/2025 11:56:45 AM PST by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)

To: DFG

Well, he shouldn’t have put himself in danger in the first place.

To: ClearCase_guy

Or maybe some of the people who were around listening to this conversation could have helped.

4 posted on 01/10/2025 12:00:09 PM PST by Kathy in OC

To: DFG

Now, LAFD just needs to go the extra step and fire all the capable firemen. Hire only little girls of color who plan to be lesbians when they grow up.

To: Kathy in OC

Ooops, just noticed it was fake news.

6 posted on 01/10/2025 12:01:48 PM PST by Kathy in OC

To: ClearCase_guy

LOL! I’ve heard that somewhere before . . oh yes, it’s coming back to me.

7 posted on 01/10/2025 12:02:19 PM PST by BipolarBob (I took my girlfriend to a fruit orchard. I didn't get it but she said she wanted to apple watch.)

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