By The Daily Caller (U.S.) | Created at 2026-09-02 14:56:13 | Updated at 2026-09-02 16:44:15
1 hour ago
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Greetings, Dear Reader,
Good lord. Today’s dispatch is from bizarro Democrat world where they’re having trouble with dudes.
THEY REALLY CAN’T FIND NORMAL GUYS
It’s been a solid minute since Graham Platner burnt up on entry, so let’s check in on Democrats and their “trying super hard to be normal” guy candidates.
Today we’ve got several fake gym rats, pole climbers and hot dog gobblers, and a guy I’ve decided to dub Roboslop.
Up first, Islamomarxist Abdul El-Sayed is apparently running for a Michigan Senate seat from inside a gym. This isn’t a new phenomenon among Dems. Starting right around 2023, they realized they F’d up bigtime demonizing gyms and gym goers.
I could unpack this further, but in short, a mix of fat worship, the covid lockdown cult (which gym rats hated), and general disdain for masculinity drove Democrats into a campaign against weightlifting culture. Add to it the general need to infantilize everyone in order to justify government expansion, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster among dudes of all stripes.
But oops, we need them to vote for us!
Cue up goobers like future sex offender Eric Swalwell and Islamomarxist Zohran Mamdani spaghetti arming their way through bench presses. The girls have gotten into the mix too. New York’s Cait Conley announced a new series called “Reps and Real Talk” in which she didn’t do a single actual rep (I could feel my inner gym partner going, “okay okay, hit it already”). You’ve also got AOC’s big transition into videos of her in daily workout clothes (I know many of you are not necessarily complaining).
While there have been some legitimate showcases – Jamaal Bowman putting up 415 on bench is wild – it’s obviously a contrived communications strategy. When you add in the subject matter, it becomes schizophrenic.
In one video, El-Sayed talked about Medicare for all, ie, socialized medicine. People who have taken health and wellness into their own hands are not going to be particularly compelled by “real talk” about nationalizing health care. They don’t want to pay for the fatties!
Making matters worse, he produced a campaign video called “Senate Island” that tried real hard to cast him as a suave contestant on Netflix show “Love Island.”
Given the aforementioned Swalwell, do we really need to pretend Capitol Hill is just a reality show for fornicators? Who is this video for? Homos, single ladies and confused zoomers who don’t vote? Michigan’s likely voting electorate isn’t likely to understand it.
Nice work trying to look normal, guys.
Next up for an Ohio congressional seat, Brian Poindexter cast his three daughters in a campaign ad that showed him climbing utility polls and working manual labor. More man stuff!
Did nobody tell his daughter to maybe lose the nose ring for the ad?
On the same day the ad dropped, Alana Goodman at Washington Free Beacon posted this absolute humdinger of a headline.
Okay, well maybe he’s just a Hunter Biden-Democrat. Also, he was just 18 at the time, so what.
Well to tell you the truth, the criminal record isn’t even the most concerning part.
Brian Poindexter has a hidden talent: He can eat an entire hotdog without chewing (allegedly).
From the story:
The victim, Bob Rzepka, 55, told the Washington Free Beacon that he was attending the game with his son on “Dollar Dog Day” when they witnessed Poindexter swallow a “whole freaking hot dog” in one bite.
“He opened up one of the dollar dogs, and he shoved that whole thing in his mouth in one fell swoop, and just swallowed it. Bread, hot dog, everything,” Rzepka told the Free Beacon. “Me and my son both witnessed it. We looked at each other. I was like, ‘Holy shit! Did you see that?’”
Rzepka said he walked up to Poindexter to express his amazement and to offer to buy him another hot dog.
“I said, ‘Hey man, if I buy you a hot dog, will you shove that fucking thing down your throat like you did? And can I get a video of it? Because people will never believe me.’”
But Poindexter, who appeared to be heavily intoxicated, took offense at the praise.
Apparently he thought (allegedly) the guy was calling him gay, so he (allegedly) slapped him? Welp, nice work showing Poindexter in a hard hat, but he eats hot dogs like an experienced sword swallower.
Next up is former Marine Captain Beau Bayh, running for secretary of state in Indiana. He too released a campaign video in a gym (shocker!). He also got caught loading the plates wrong according to the gym customs. Oops! I swear I’m not wearing your culture as a skinsuit!
Bayh’s resume reads like a limerick for stats you’d need to run for office. Harvard: Check. Military service: Check. Deployed in support of an intel op for Ukraine: Check. Third generation politician: Check.
What political contrivance factory put Capt. Roboslop together? All that’s missing is a stint at McKinsey. He’s even following in his father’s footsteps as far as using the state’s cabinet position as an entry point for higher aspirations.
Yes, Bayh’s father, Birch Evans “Evan” Bayh III, became secretary of state prior to a winning run for governor of Indiana.
Bayh may (see: will) run into problems when it comes to his grandfather. Birch Evans Bayh Jr. was the principal author of Title IX in Congress, which means he definitely had no trouble telling the difference between men and women!
At least Democrats have recognized a problem and are taking steps to address it. The next problem is the only actually normal guys they have on the bench – Jon Ossoff and Josh Shapiro – have another (((PROBLEM))).
They’re Jewish. As Michigan’s own attorney general understands, you can’t embrace Islamomarxism and run Jews for office. Or even, in her case, both to appear at your own party’s state convention.
It’s almost like instead of viewing the electorate as various sets of immutable traits you need to pander to, you should just run on deep-seated American values more generally …
MORE LINKS
Geriatric Democrat Senator Fends Off Young-Blood Challenger In Rare Win For Old Guard
Both had name notoriety.
Bank Of America VP Stabbed To Death In Grisly Times Square Murder
You see the images of the suspect with police nearby?
Conservative Groups Warn Against Trump Admin Proposal To Give Away Piece Of Beloved National Park
What’s the big idea?
