It’s time for Broadway to be — or not to be — done with Shakespeare plays

Theater due for a Shakes-up

Prithee, shut thy Broadway programs. This cometh season Shakespeare is yet again showing life upon the wicked stage. Please, enougheth already. King Lear’s crown is rusting.

I got nothing against Willie — but same words every season. Who’s he thinketh he is, Tennessee Williams?

Producers should do something different. Maybe “Romeo and Gladys”? Shove “Othello.” Try Benji.

I mean, what was so great about this writer? Shakespeare was a hipster. Had a beard, wore hoop earrings, baggy pants, had his own language, knocked out three kids and never even helped around the house.

Not just that I lack couth. But enougheth already. Everybody already knows Willie. Nobody’s repeating the title “Romeo and Henrietta.”

Trust me — if we ever had condos on the moon their first-grade drama teachers would be asking those little students: “Needeth thou the can?”

Play the bard card

Everyone everybody knows has done Shakespeare. Actors who suited up in rompers include Richard Burton, Kenneth Branagh, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Ralph Fiennes, John Gielgud, Laurence Olivier, Jeremy Irons.

Lefteth only is Pete Davidson who’d maybe schlep around the stage shouting “Out . . . out . . . brief chamber pot!”

And Broadway’s biggest earner now? “Othello” starring Denzel Washington and Jake Gyllenhaal. Next year’s tryout? Only one left after Davidson is Conan O’Brien.

Willie was a swinger. Big with Romeo and whatsername was the line “Love is a game.” “MacBeth” had “Love is dangerous.”

Jealousy permeated “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.” “Much Ado About Nothing” made much to do about passion. The line “As you like it” was clear about liking it.

How about Willie’s “The course of love never did run smooth.” Or “I love you so much of my heart” was in “Much Ado.”

Time to drop the act

Shove Brad and Angie, forget Lopez and her fifth ex who’s back to the first wife.

Our Willie knocked off “My love is deep, the more I give to thee” from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.” Seems to have been a dilly — not Willie-nilly — when it came to doing it.

The dude’s back on Broadway. People have shelled out almost $1,000 to applaud/see/hear — and that’s to re-hear what Willie’s been re-saying for 500 years. Enough already.

Last year the Tony went to a cornball musical nobody’d ever heard of. Title? “Shucked.” You could’ve copped a seat for maybe $49. Its Tony-winning star Alex Newell nobody’d ever heard of.

OK, prices are up everywhere — milk, eggs, cars, stagehands, actors. But Broadway is NYC’s lifeblood.

Without the Great White Way all you got is Fifth Avenue where the costs are as high as a politician’s eye.

And even Hunter Biden who doesn’t know the word “work” may actually have to rent out what’s left of his father.

TV’s become so bad that kids now actually do their homework. One 9-year-old had to get married because on a quiz show he’d won a honeymoon vacation in Hawaii.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.