By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-03-11 19:05:21 | Updated at 2025-03-12 07:13:24
12 hours ago
U.S. — According to sources, a single Cheeto shaped like FVice President JD Vance officially sold at auction this week for an astounding $1.7 million.
The item was sold through eBay to an anonymous bidder. In their review, the buyer wrote, "Looks exactly like JD Vance! BASED! Would buy from again A++++!"
The JD Vance-shaped Cheeto joined the ranks of other food items that bore striking resemblances to notable figures. In 2004, a grilled cheese sandwich bearing the image of the Virgin Mary sold for $28,000, and in 2017 a potato chip resembling Harambe the gorilla sold for over $99,000. The Vance Cheeto, however, has surpassed them all with its record-breaking sale price.
Said to be a miracle of food production, the Vance Cheeto was discovered in a bag of Flamin' Hot Limòn Crunchy Cheetos in Middletown, Ohio, where JD Vance was born. It was found by Jessica Wilson, a local mom who hit it out of the hand of her child before he could eat it.
"Derrick! Don't eat that!" she reportedly said. "That's the vice president!"
Before being listed on eBay, the Vance Cheeto was verified by independent food likeness experts who certified that it was not a forgery. An official certificate of authenticity was included with the item, which eBay credits for its high sale price.
At publishing time, the identity of the anonymous bidder was revealed to be Mel Gibson, with reports that the Vance Cheeto would be on display in his private collection along with a piece of the True Cross, the kilt he wore in Braveheart, and a lock of M. Knight Shyamalan's hair.
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