Jennifer Love Hewitt opens up about sobbing in the shower, Christmas movies and her bizarre heritage theory

Jennifer Love Hewitt has revealed that she spends every Christmas morning sobbing in the shower - even though it’s her absolute favorite time of year.

She has also jokingly hinted that her ancestry may hold the clue to her outlook on life. 

A self-confessed ‘holiday junkie’, the actress, 45, embraces every opportunity to celebrate a holiday - from Valentine’s and St Patrick’s Day to Easter, Fourth of July and Halloween.

And, while December is ‘the most magical month of all,' she says it's also the most ‘emotionally complicated.’

‘It’s pure, it’s enchanting, it’s exciting, and it brings as much joy as sadness,’ she writes in her new book, Inheriting Magic, ‘because for every one person who is feeling connection, another is feeling loss. For every couple in love, someone is lonely. For every perfect family, there is a broken one.’

The source of Hewitt's sadness is the tragic death of her mom in 2012, after a battle with cancer.

And she recently broke her silence on the heartbreak at knowing news outlets had found out about the death before she did.

The actress had been travelling to Monaco for the 52nd Monte Carlo Television Festival at the time, and only learned after her flight had landed that her 67-year-old mother, Patricia, had slipped into a coma.

In her book, she writes: ‘It felt like a nightmare, and I was begging to wake up... this couldn't be happening.

'I was able to get the next flight out and made it home, but never got the chance to say goodbye.’

The actress's parents divorced when she was just six months old, and she describes how her mom had used the idea of magic to deal with her own grief.

'It was also how she expressed her love, through special moments, thoughtful touches, and a deep belief that even in hard times magic could exist.

'My mom moved past her pain and turned it into creating joy, magic, and explosive love for us every day.' 

So when Patricia passed, she says, she was convinced all the magic was gone.

‘Magic would be something in my past. And for the first time, magic couldn’t help me through the incredible pain I was feeling.

‘In grieving, I thought I lost that magic because I lost her. Instead, she left me with an unforgettable gift that she imprinted into my heart - her magic.’

She has now taken on the mantle for her family - husband Brian Hallisay, 46, daughter Autumn, 10, son Atticus, nine, and son Aidan, three. 

And, in honor of her mom's favorite time of year, she goes all out for Christmas.

‘I truly believe Ancestry.com holds the proof of me being a descendant of either an elf or Claus himself,’ she writes. ‘It’s my favorite time of year, and yet still holds for me at least three mom breakdowns of “Can I get it all wrapped and done in time?” and one big I-miss-my-mom cry in the shower.’

And as her children search the skies on Christmas Eve, looking for a sign that Santa is on his way, she says she searches for a sign that her mom is still with her.

‘As a child, I remember my mom glowing differently during that time of year.’

However sad she feels, though, she says: ‘The magic of December truly brings me back to life.’

Her family traditions include toasting with her husband’s ‘famous Christmas cocktail’ once the tree has been decorated.

‘Him sitting in his chair and reading surrounded by the warm glow of lights, and us sleeping among our decorations, fills my heart with joy and gives me such a comforting feeling.’

She also reveals her all-time favorite holiday movies that she sits down to watch once the presents are wrapped.

‘It’s my favorite time to put on The Holiday or Love Actually and remind myself of what we actually ordered everyone!’

Her mom's love of Christmas has even inspired a new movie - The Holiday Junkie - directing and starring Hewitt alongside her husband and children. 

Patricia, who worked as a speech-language pathologist, brought her daughter from Waco, Texas, to Los Angeles in 1989 to break into show business; Hewitt began appearing on the show Kids Incorporated that year, later breaking out with roles on the TV show Party of Five and the film I Know What You Did Last Summer.

In a 2022 post marking 10 years since her mom’s death, she wrote: ‘Someone told me after losing my mom that the first year would feel impossible, the years after would build strength in me and then the 10 year mark would be an open wound all over again, because it would feel insane to have been without her that long. They were right.

'I will never forget not making it to say goodbye,' she added. 'I will never forget walking into her house that day and hoping somehow she would come around the corner, waking up the day after praying it was all a bad dream.

'The countless times I called her by accident when something good or bad happened because I forgot she couldn’t pick up.'

This is the first time she's spoken in such detail about her mom and the rich legacy she left: 'I honestly hadn't ever said that much about my mother after she passed, because I didn't have the words.

'I just didn't know what to say, and this felt like the right time to talk about her and sort of say, "This is what she left behind."’

Inheriting Magic: My Journey Through Grief, Joy, Celebration, and Making Every Day Magical by Jennifer Love Hewitt is published by BenBella Books