By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-09-29 18:20:17 | Updated at 2026-09-29 19:08:17
51 minutes ago
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced a new plan to fight antisemitism by locking his own anti-semitic wife in their bedroom closet.
Antisemitism has been on an alarming rise in the city of New York, coincidentally just as the city's first Muslim mayor took office. His plan to lock his anti-semitic wife, Rama Duwaji, in a closet began to make a lot of sense after her anti-Israel and pro-Islamic terrorism social media posts had become publicly known.
"I want everyone in New York to feel safe," said Mayor Mamdani in his announcement. "I want Jews in the city to know that my Jew-hating wife is currently locked up in our closet and I promise I will keep her there until the end of my term. She can't hurt you now."
New Yorkers seemed to be in favor of the policy change by a broad bipartisan majority of voters.
"I am strongly in favor of locking up Mamdani's wife in a closet," said one Brooklyn pizza shop owner.
"Because of the pro-Hamas and pro-October 7th social media posts?" asked a journalist.
"Oh, she was posting that stuff? Well now I definitely support putting her in a closet."
"I wanted to put her in one of those bags that those people wear so we wouldn't have to see her face anymore," said one delivery driver from Queens. "But keeping her in a closet is the next best thing."
At publishing time, hate crimes against Jews in the city of New York were already down nearly 78% after Mamdani's wife was locked in the closet.
Senator Mitch McConnell isn't doing too many interviews these days, but The Babylon Bee's Travis got the opportunity to sit down with the man, the myth, and the legend himself.
