By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-09-21 21:15:27 | Updated at 2026-09-21 21:49:30
37 minutes ago
WASHINGTON, D.C. — HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced on Monday that he was teaming up with Starbucks to create a bold new Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino as a healthier fall option for consumers.
Starbucks announced the new Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino would replace the classic Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino immediately in an effort to help customers avoid unnecessary sugar and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
"Starbucks is one of the most successful coffee shops in the world, but the drinks are full of sugar — until now," Kennedy said before pulling a veil off a large piece of pasteboard, revealing a Starbucks cup full of beef tallow. "Introducing the new Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino. It'll wake you up, plus provide your body with crucial vitamins and rich fatty acids it needs. And it's delicious. If you like meat-flavored coffee."
According to Starbucks press materials, the Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino is reportedly 2 parts water, 3 parts beef tallow, and all flavor. And just like any Starbucks drink, additional shots of espresso can be added for a boost to your morning.
"Finally, Starbucks has a man's beverage," RFK Jr. said after taking a drink of thick Frappuccino. "It's so thick, you can't use a straw. You have to drink it like a man."
At publishing time, following early success of the Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino, Starbucks also announced a new beef tallow cake pop to its food menu.
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