By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-04-01 17:15:19 | Updated at 2025-04-02 20:53:39
1 day ago
U.S. — After weeks of intense theological reflection and debate, an interdenominational group of pastors and scholars has just confirmed that, as human beings, we are all made in the Image of God — and that even includes Steve.
Beginning from the earliest verses of Genesis, the crack team of theological talent was finally able to determine once and for all that God creates all human beings in His own Image. Most shockingly, however, God does this without making distinctions based on a person's height, skin color, or even being Steve.
"God holds such love for His creation that He even bestowed His Image on all human beings," said Dr. Christopher Ambrose, a pastor and theologian. "Every last one of us humans. Even you, Steve."
Theologians also confirmed that God so loved the world that He gave His Son to restore and renew the image of fallen humanity distorted through its sin. Incredibly, this still also holds true for Steve.
The team of pastors further warned that all human beings should repent and believe in Jesus Christ — even Steve.
"You, too, Steve old boy," Ambrose said. "Repent!"
At publishing time, the theologians had gotten into an argument as to whether Christ died for all humans, including Steve, or just for the elect.
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