By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-06-24 14:30:40 | Updated at 2026-06-24 16:16:35
1 hour ago
NEW YORK, NY — Seeking a way to spice things up after decades of the same draft format and raise the stakes for the players coming into the league, it was announced that the United States Army had been given one pick in each round of this year's NBA Draft.
According to the new rules, every round of the draft would see one talented young basketball player chosen by the U.S. Army to bolster its ranks and add a new layer of suspense and tension to the draft process.
"Who will they pick? Let's find out!" said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. "After many years of the same process — the lottery, teams taking turns picking players from colleges, and so forth — we decided it was time to shake things up by allowing the U.S. Army to select one lucky player in each round to serve in the military. It's an exciting twist for the fans, and especially the players."
When asked to comment on the military's plans for the draft, a U.S. Army spokesman said much of the organization's strategy was classified. "We don't want to tip our hand as to which players we're looking at," said Colonel William Nantz. "We've got a lot of holes to fill on our roster, and with things in the Middle East still in a tense place, we need all the help we can get. Will we go point guard? Power forward? We'll see."
At publishing time, the U.S. Army was rumored to be focusing on drafting multiple big men with highly rated blocking skills to aid in the military's missile defense system.
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