By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-10-05 22:15:17 | Updated at 2026-10-05 23:30:58
1 hour ago
Looking to move to a new state? Look no further than Indiana! There are plenty of reasons to move there. Seriously.
If you're still in doubt, here are 10 rock-solid reasons to move to Indiana:
Basketball is the state religion: It is customary for families to leave an empty chair for Bobby Knight at the dinner table.
Almost all of their gas stations have gum: Try your best to control your excitement.
Any Chinese assassin squad will never think to look for you there: It's a brilliant strategy.
You'll never have to worry about riots from fans celebrating a Super Bowl victory: Peace and quiet at the end of every NFL season.
Its cities have nice, friendly names: Like "Gary."
World-class cuisine like milk and salted eggs: Delicious.
Sophie Cunningham: Hubba hubba.
None of your relatives will ever come to visit: You'll always be safe.
Enjoy all the glamour of living in Ohio without having to actually live in Ohio: Charm, allure, and excitement with 100% fewer Ohioans.
It's the only state named after a dog: This one seals it.
When you read everything listed above, it's abundantly clear that Indiana is the place to be. Are you from Indiana? Post your most convincing reason to move there in the comments.
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