By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-10-15 20:30:15 | Updated at 2026-10-15 21:21:17
55 minutes ago
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After significant bipartisan backlash, President Donald Trump ordered the Pentagon to cancel the livestream of convicted domestic terrorist Nidal Hasan's execution and instead move it over to pay-per-view.
Dubbing the PPV show "FORT HOOD: THE RECKONING," Trump set the price at $79.99, with an undercard featuring five other executions of death row inmates in Texas.
"It's going to be a terrific show, believe me," said Trump. "People were very upset about the livestream, really not happy about it. 'You can't make that sort of thing public,' they said. And I realized they were right, that it really should be pay-per-view. I don't normally change my mind, but it was a fantastic idea to not make it public. It's going to be a huge moneymaker."
Pentagon officials confirmed that the event would feature a two-hour preshow, celebrity commentators, and a premium package allowing viewers to watch without commercial interruptions. "People are saying, ‘Sir, you can't put a price on a human life,'" Trump continued. "And they're right. That's why we're bundling. Six executions for $79.99. Frankly, the people complaining haven't looked at what other pay-per-views cost. We could have easily charged a hundred."
At publishing time, the Supreme Court had agreed to hear Hasan's final appeal exclusively on Paramount+.
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