By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-09-15 15:25:17 | Updated at 2026-09-15 16:40:35
1 hour ago
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In his latest attempt to entice voters to turn out for the November midterm elections, President Donald Trump announced on Tuesday that he was promising to bring back $5 footlongs if Republicans retained control of both houses of Congress.
Sources confirmed that, with so much at stake in the elections for the remainder of his presidential term, Trump wished to generate as much motivation in the electorate as possible, seeing the restoration of Subway's $5 footlong deal as a surefire way to get out the vote in November.
"There will be so many affordable footlongs, believe me," Trump told reporters in the Oval Office. "Everyone remembers the days of the $5 footlongs. They even had a song. Everyone knew it. And then, they stopped. Nobody knows why. Probably because of Biden, I don't know. But they stopped. But now, we're going to bring them back. If the Republicans win in November, which they will, we're going to bring back the $5 footlongs. That's the MAGA price. It's going to be amazing. Our country is going to win again, and it's going to start with the sandwiches."
White House officials later confirmed that negotiations were taking place with Subway executives to secure the return of the $5 footlong deal. "This is an important part of the president's plan for the country," one insider explained. "He knows Americans have missed getting their Subway footlongs for an affordable price, and he's committed to doing something about it. If you want your $5 footlongs back, get out and vote Republican."
At publishing time, GOP poll numbers spiked after rumors swirled that Trump was preparing to promise to bring back Arby's "5 for $5.55" deal.
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