Vaccine Madness [semi-satire]

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Posted on 01/06/2025 9:17:35 AM PST by John Semmens

In 1986, before vaccine makers were granted broad immunity from liability for the injuries their injections caused there were only seven vaccinations recommended for each child between birth and age 18 and none for adults or pregnant women by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Today there are more than 70 recommended vaccinations for each child, five for each pregnant woman, and over 130 for each adult up to age 79.

President-Elect Donald Trump's nominee for the Department of Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. contends "we are overloading the very youngest and most vulnerable members of society with repetitive doses of vaccines. The fact that the manufacturers of these vaccines have been relieved of all responsibility for any harm these products might do has inspired them to throw caution to the wind. A particularly troubling trend has been the increased incidence of autism from 1 in each 150 children in the year 2000 to one in each 36 children. It is my intention as Secretary of HHS to examine these drugs and inject more caution into the system."

Current CDC director Mandy Krauthamer-Cohen characterized the expanded vaccination schedules as "based on the best science available. The better explanation for the apparent increase in autism is that we are better at detecting and measuring it. Mainstream medical opinion is that Mr. Kennedy's fears are unfounded."

"Actions are more persuasive than assertions," Kennedy said. "If Ms. Krauthamer-Cohen were truly confident in the science behind these vaccines she should have no objection to repealing the immunity from liability that led to the massive expansion of the vaccination schedule. If these vaccinations are doing more good than harm the few lawsuits that might succeed would be overwhelmed by the much larger profits from vaccinations that produce far fewer harms than benefits."

Global utopian Bill Gates has a completely different objection to the way vaccines are delivered. "The problem with the current system is that any objector can opt out of being vaccinated no matter what the scientific experts prescribe for them," he complained. "Some of them can be successfully induced to do the right thing by threats to their employment, ability to travel, or even venture outside their home, but fanatics will slip through the cracks. What we need is a way to inject vaccines covertly. That's why the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has given more than $2 million to Leiden University Medical Center (LUMC) to develop a mosquito that can inject humans with a genetically engineered vaccine or drug. I'm pleased to say that a proof of concept test in which a mosquito successfully injected a malaria-casing parasite into test subjects. This opens the way for us to medicate everyone without needing their permission."

Meanwhile, Judge William Alsup of the US District Court for the Northern District of California rejected the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) argument that a lower court jury erred in its award of $7.8 million in damages to six employees who were fired for refusing to take the experimental covid vaccine. "BART's contention that no alternative measures were as effective as the vaccine was not demonstrated to the jury's satisfaction," Alsup ruled. "Ironically, most of the evidence gathered since the firings has shown that the covid vaccines were neither safe or effective." Gates boasted that his "mosquito technology will render such legal disputes moot."

In related news, it appears that the current H5N1 bird flu strain may have leaked from a US Department of Agriculture (USDA) laboratory in Athens, Georgia. A USDA spokesperson defended the "gain-of-function" research intended to increase the lethality of the virus "as necessary so we can be ready to create a vaccine to deal with if a wild mutation into greater lethality were to evolve in a state of nature." The fact that respiratory viruses have a notoriously rapid rate of mutation that impedes the development of effective vaccines--as we saw with the covid vaccines--does not seem to deter this risky, yet likely futile research. Nevertheless, Dr. Lena Wen, former president of Planned Parenthood urged President Biden "to get millions of doses of bird flu vaccines to the American people as soon as possible." This follows her covid pandemic advice that "individuals who refuse to be vaccinated should be confined to their homes."

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1 posted on 01/06/2025 9:17:35 AM PST by John Semmens

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