By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-01-09 22:45:21 | Updated at 2025-01-10 06:24:00
7 hours ago
As the world continued to look on in shock at the devastation being caused by multiple wildfires ravaging Southern California, people have been looking for what — or who — to blame.
To streamline the finger-pointing process, The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of likely causes of the California wildfires:
Lack of diversity in the fire department: Nothing causes more devastation than placing the most qualified candidates in positions based on merit.
Capitalism: When was the last time you heard about wildfires happening in a socialist utopia? Exactly.
Plastic straws: The effects of you drinking your iced frappés through plastic straws can be felt across the country.
Steve: That guy is bad news.
January 6: Further evidence that the attempted insurrection is a wound that will never heal.
Racism: The flames of a wildfire are nothing compared to the scourge of white supremacy.
Billy Joel: He claims he didn't start the fire. But we know better.
The Jews: Something bad happened? You know who to blame.
Negative reviews of The Acolyte: None of this would have happened if Star Wars fans weren't so filled with hate.
Donald Trump: They tried to warn us about him. Now look what happened.
Now everyone knows who was responsible. If you have your own theories about the cause of the blazes, post them in the comments below.
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