By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-06-23 20:45:15 | Updated at 2026-06-23 21:40:34
58 minutes ago
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a brilliant move of 4D chess, President Donald Trump made the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool even more swamp-like to better reflect the reality of the nation's capital.
Though Trump played coy with the media about his turning the pool into an algae-filled swamp, sources in the White House confirmed that Trump planned the entire operation as a powerful metaphor.
"Take a good look, Congress. This is you. Ugly, gross pond scum," said Trump, as he guided congressional representatives on a field trip to the pool. "I hope you see how green and nasty you all are. Unattractive and filthy. Nothing you'd want to touch, believe me, not you people. You're slimy and weird, and that's why no one likes you. I hope this teaches all of you a valuable lesson. You're terrible."
Though ostensibly renovating the Reflecting Pool, Trump privately admitted the entire initiative was a clever ruse for creating the compelling visual of a swamp. "It's absolutely brilliant, sir. Congress will never recover from this," said presidential aide Mickey Tanner. "It's really bringing your 2016 campaign promise to 'drain the swamp' full circle. You've made a really tight narrative arc, sir. Well done, Mr. President."
At publishing time, Trump had signed an executive order requiring all future congressional committee meetings to take place in the middle of the Reflecting Pool.
Behold! Woke Jesus is teaching when the Pharisees bring to him a woman caught in adultery. Listen and learn from this cherished Bible story about how Woke Jesus turned to intersectionality.
