By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-09-05 14:20:13 | Updated at 2026-09-05 15:25:08
1 hour ago
TUSCALOOSA, AL — After putting on a superb performance in the season opener, young college football star Davis Mack began worrying that he could wind up in the NFL Draft and be forced to take a massive pay cut.
Mack, who currently earns $10 million per season playing quarterback for the University of Alabama, would reportedly face a devastating 60% pay cut if drafted by the NFL.
"Man, I gotta start airmailing some passes," sighed Mack, after learning that NFL scouts had been present at his game. "Maybe ask my coach to tell scouts that he's got some 'character concerns' about me. Whatever it takes to protect my financial future."
According to sources, Mack currently makes the equivalent of an NFL rookie salary via his endorsement contract with the local "Chicken Shack" chicken fingers eatery. "It's all guaranteed, up front. Even I get hurt, I can still sell that chicken," said Mack. "The 'Shack' has been good to me. You can't get those kinds of guarantees in the NFL. Getting drafted is every player's worst nightmare."
At publishing time, Mack had reportedly breathed a sigh of relief after suffering a hamstring injury that sent his draft stock plummeting, potentially saving his college career.
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