By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-10-16 21:05:12 | Updated at 2026-10-16 21:59:35
55 minutes ago
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Katie Zacharia was reportedly fired from her role as White House Press Secretary despite lying about her qualifications and being awful at her job.
After just five days on the job and holding just one press conference, Zacharia exited the administration even though she falsely claimed to be an attorney and doesn't know how to talk like a living, breathing human being.
Officially, the Trump administration said Zacharia was leaving of her own accord after a hostile performance review from the press. "She may work for me again in some capacity," said Trump. "She's blonde. I'll leave it up to her. But there's always a job open for a blonde, believe me. I asked Daniel Craig to be press secretary. We'll see what he says. He's not so blonde these days, so it might not work out. Gray hair up there. He's turning gray. A really sad thing. I love blonde hair. Blonde people. They're perfect. The perfect people, if you can believe it. But maybe not so perfect after that press conference. Three questions. Katie answered three questions. Some people are saying it's the shortest press conference in history. I bet Daniel Craig would have answered at least seven questions. Because of the 007 thing. I really hope he calls me back."
According to Zacharia, she's excited to start a new job somewhere that doesn't take credentials seriously. "Um. I'm very thankful. For Trump. Not thankful. Enough. To keep working for him, but. Um. Pretty thankful," she said. "As a lawyer. I'll find work. Somewhere. Not in a courtroom. Because I'm not a lawyer. Um. So, yeah."
At publishing time, Fox News had announced that Zacharia would not be returning as a commentator on their network despite lying about her qualifications and being awful at her job.
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