By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-10-02 17:35:15 | Updated at 2026-10-02 18:28:30
54 minutes ago
HOUSTON, TX — Local man Chip Wilson spent time in fervent prayer today in hopes that his wife's fever would break before it was time to make dinner that night.
"Please, Lord," Wilson was heard saying. "I hate that she's not feeling well, but I, um, don't know how to operate a can opener and things are about to get bleak."
Wilson's wife, Meagan, had been in bed all morning with a fever, aches, and chills. He'd been vigilant about taking care of her, but he said he really didn't know what to do if dinner time rolled around and he had to make food for himself and their three young kids.
"She took ibuprofen about an hour ago… it should be kicking in anytime soon," Wilson said. "I know she's not feeling great, but dinner is just a few hours away. Oh good, she just got out of bed."
Meagan told her husband she could probably muster the energy to nuke a few frozen burritos in the microwave for the kids.
"You just have to take them out of the wrapper and set the microwave to 2 minutes," Meagan said. "But I guess… it's ok. I can do it."
At publishing time, Chip had sent Meagan back to bed after proudly serving the burritos to the kids with a flourish of ketchup on their plates.
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