By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2025-03-10 18:40:32 | Updated at 2025-03-10 21:25:33
2 hours ago
SANTA BARBARA, CA — The Catholic Church officially announced that it had sanctioned a miracle after a man saw the image of Vice President JD Vance in his toast.
Miguel Fernandez reported that he was preparing to eat a quick breakfast before heading off to work when he discovered Vance's face had spontaneously been seared into one of the slices of bread.
"Behold! The vice president has appeared to me! I am undone!" Miguel Fernandez exclaimed. "His face has my toast for the most important meal of the day! It's a miracle!"
Fernandez took a quick photo of the toasted bread and sent it off to his priest, who in turn forwarded it to the Vatican. News was brought quickly that Pope Francis himself had deemed the toast a sacred miracle.
"I can see the face of the United States Vice President as clear as day," the pontiff reportedly told his aides. "This is a very real sign that these JD Vance memes are ordained by God. We may have witnessed the first heavenly meme."
Altered photos of the vice president have exploded online with Vance's image appearing in many iconic photos in "meme" style, with Vance himself posting a few of the altered images on X. This one was different, Vance said. This one was toast.
"I'm honored to have appeared to this man via his bread," Vance said in a statement. "I'm not sure what it means, but I'm excited that the Vatican has recognized it as a miracle."
At publishing time, Fernandez had reported that JD Vance's face tasted delicious with butter and strawberry jam.
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