By The Babylon Bee | Created at 2026-09-08 16:30:15 | Updated at 2026-09-08 17:31:31
1 hour ago
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the U.S. Congress prepared to return to work next week, one major lingering question was answered as the Senate approved a request from Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell that will allow him to work remotely from the grave.
McConnell, who hasn't been present to attend to any Senate business at the Capitol since mid-June, submitted a request through his office to be able to perform his duties remotely from the comfort of his grave, which Senate leadership officially granted.
"It'll be just the same as he was when he was here in person," said Senate Majority Leader John Thune. "He'll be able to provide the wisdom, input, and long, thoughtful pauses we've come to expect from him, but now he'll be able to do it from six feet under. It's the least we could do to accommodate his request."
In a brief statement released by McConnell's staff, the senator confirmed that he was looking forward to getting back to work. "Senator McConnell is eager to resume his duties," the statement said. "He is very much alive and in good health, and he can't wait to participate in Senate business remotely from his final resting place. He'll be more comfortable there, and it'll be like he's sitting right there in the Capitol, staring off into space."
When pressed for a direct comment from McConnell, his office replied that his response was, ".............................."
At publishing time, Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Chuck Grassley, and several other members of Congress had submitted similar petitions to continue working remotely from the hereafter.
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